i'm marrying a doctor.

The concept that life is meant to be enjoyed is something most Indians fail to register. Rather, I feel they largely endure life, and are conditioned into following predictable, often mundane paths.

For once, I am not speaking of those living below the poverty line; their plight is another challenge altogether. Instead, I am writing specifically about a more fortunate group of Indians, who have choices and opportunities – but sadly fail to avail of them.

Indians are largely risk averse, generally opting for safety and security. This is hardly surprising given extensive poverty seen in India. Unfortunately, this mentality is not only amongst the poor, but it has passed through all classes of Indian society.

This failure or hesitation to take risks has propelled many Indians into a life of mediocrity; making them incapable of reaching their true potential and making life more difficult to enjoy. I’ve identified the reason why most Indians endure life, choosing conventional paths …

PRESSURE.

Most Indians are under extreme pressure from their infancy, where 3-year-olds are made to sit formal interviews for admission into nursery schools. This pressure then follows them through another 15 years of schooling – where at every level students are made to ensure stressful competitive examinations and ranked amongst their peers.

However, what makes this experience even more insufferable is the unrealistic performance pressure imposed on children by overbearing parents. Many parents are less interested in the psychological welfare of their children, and more in their ability to maintain a high grade-point-average, so their kids stay ‘on top of the class.’

A sad testimony to this is the 1000’s of young people across India that commit suicide each year to ease themselves from this strain.

Does this sound like an enjoyable childhood?

Much of this pressure is societal because of the level of competition seen everywhere in India. However, most of it comes from the family unit – who involve themselves in every decision of their children’s lives, from education and choice of careers, to marriage, and having (and raising!) children.

The Greek Philosopher Epicurus stated that one of the main tenants of happiness was freedom – which in India is generally restricted for most. Certain expectations are ‘imposed’ upon young people in India; often hampering their ability to form a identities of their own. This follows them throughout their life.

I see examples of this is every day; adults that are fearful of making a career change, starting a business, undertaking some form of social work or even taking time off to travel – all because their families will be critical of them. This may be the case, however, many adults use their family pressures as an excuse not to take risks.

One of the most worrying outcomes of confining an individual’s freedom is their loss of creativity – which I believe the most unique gift we have.

I met some parents last week who have a daughter that just finished her schooling. She is a talented musician, singer with an interest in theatre.

When her mother was asked what she was interested in pursuing at university, she declared: ”if my daughter had it her way she’s be studying something media-related, maybe mass communication – however, we are doing our best to get her into a dentistry course – there is no future in those fields she is interested in!"

The thought of following a path that involves any inherent risk will almost always be discouraged. I often ask parents this: “What is the point of sending your kids to the best schools and universities in the world if you can’t trust them to make their own decisions as to their future?" Any Indian parent will tell you it is out of love they control their children's lives. I find a great sense of irony in that claim.

I certainly believe that parents play a crucial role in helping their children make decisions regarding their future. However, what I have found in India, is that this involves less discussion and more direction. Parent's have to appreciate that young people have minds, and dreams of their own. And what they want, may not be what their children want or enjoy.

The concept of autonomy is something most people reading this post in Australia can relate to. Parent's there are comfortable in leaving their children to make decisions as to what they wish to study, what professions they wish to follow, and whom they wish to marry. They are aware that they children may make mistakes, but see this as a part of their personal growth.

It is distressing to see that in this day and age Indian parents cannot see beyond engineering, medicine, MBA’s and other related fields. Even matrimonial advertisements here are almost always seeking brides and grooms with such qualifications … and marrying a doctor is still regarded as the ultimate accomplishment!

Parents, to compensate for their own inadequacies, live vicariously through their children in India: “My son is now an Ultra Super Senior Manager at Global-Hyper-Tech Corporation; he always got top marks at school and college, he has a beautiful wife, and a huge salary!” Whether or not he is enjoying his life is secondary, and will rarely rate a mention.

Why are so many people dissatisfied in the work they do (and this is not just in India)? Because they find themselves engaged in pursuits that do not reflect their potential and stifle their creativity. Any talents or dreams they may have possessed in the past, literally diminishes. Sadly in India, this degeneration begins during childhood, when children are openly discouraged from spending time in activities that are not considered academic.

I understand that due to the level of competition in India, jobs are scarce and professional qualifications are important, however some people are just not destined to follow the 'MBA-TYPE' path. If parents don’t encourage children to take risks and follow their interests, their children may be missing out on enjoying their LIFE.

Due to the level of competition, and high unemployment, 60-plus working hours a week is generally the norm in most industries. Imagine spending your professional life, engaged in something you derived no enjoyment from?

A passionate designer will have a more enjoyable working-life pursuing his or her craft, than being forced into becoming an electrical engineer. No amount of financial compensation can alter this.

There is no simple solution to this pressure epidemic, that not only follows people through their lives, but will also affects future generations.

As a teacher I have always encouraged young people to follow paths they are interested in, not simply marketable. An enjoyable professional-life will always have a positive effect on the other areas of one's life.

However, since parents are the ‘decision-makers’ in India, I will direct this same advice to them and request that they ask their children this question:

What do you want to do with YOUR life?